The Conservative Cases for Taylor Swift
Who do all Republicans hate? George Soros and soft-on-crime prosecutors. And who should all Swifties hate? You guessed it: George Soros and soft-on-crime prosecutors
Let’s start with the obvious–of course the Super Bowl is rigged and illegitimate. This is true of any Super Bowl without the New England Patriots.
And of course the NFL is rigged for Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes, who will never even hold a candle to the level of sustained greatness achieved by Bill Belichick and Tom Brady–the greatest athlete in all of human history.
But I was thinking about the Taylor Swift-induced drama surrounding this year’s big game as we discussed it on Chris Plante’s Right Squad on Newsmax. And I pondered a bit more about something I’ve talked about for some time now: the right must work to red pill Taylor Swift and her hundreds of millions of Swifties–and the pieces are basically all here.
Remember that before the NFL season, Swift had massive favorables with what Echelon Insights describes as “party-first” Republicans, but was already underwater with “Trump-first Republicans.” I’d be interested in seeing where those numbers are now, but Swift boasted a 51-23 approval rating across the GOP as a whole as recently as a few months ago.
And who do all Republicans hate? George Soros and soft-on-crime prosecutors. And who should all Swifties hate? You guessed it: George Soros and soft-on-crime prosecutors.
Let’s start with the obvious: Swift’s public beef with the Soros family. Most Swifties are aware of her longstanding feud with a different Democratic donor, Scooter Braun. However, Swift has accurately noted that Braun’s acquisition of much of her music catalog would have been impossible without financing from many, including Soros Fund Management.
“After I was denied the chance to purchase my music outright, my entire catalog was sold to Scooter Braun's Ithaca Holdings in a deal that I'm told was funded by the Soros family, 23 Capital, and the Carlyle Group,” Swift said in 2019 while accepting Billboard’s Woman of the Decade award. Earlier that year, Swift said that Braun blocked her from performing a retrospective concert at the American Music Awards.
Braun’s financial ties to the Democratic party run deep. He is a donor to almost every state’s Democratic Party, as well as to Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton, Senators Cory Booker, Mark Kelly, Michael Bennet, and many more failed politicians, including former New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio.
Following this record dispute, Swift re-recorded her music catalog, calling the updated versions, famously, (Taylor’s Version) to differentiate them from the ones captured by the Democratic Party’s moneyed class.
The next year, Swift famously endorsed Joe Biden during his 2020 basement campaign for president, sparking conspiracies that she made a backroom deal with the Soros family in exchange for getting the rights to her music back. There also was an interesting Fox News segment in which Jesse Watters speculated that Swift may be a Pentagon asset.
But this doesn’t make sense, and Swift famously flopped in her first foray into politics, endorsing the Democrat who ran against Marsha Blackburn for Senate in Tennessee in 2018, months before the Democratic donors took control of her music.
So Swift hates, or at least used to hate, the Soros family. During the peak of COVID-19, she attacked the family’s “shameless greed” after Braun planned to release her old music again. That’s big, and makes it hard to see how she would then turn around and cut back room deals with him. Soros funds so much of the left’s vast network of dark money enterprises that it’s hard to actually fathom. One of his crusades has, famously, been transforming prosecutor’s offices around the country into the best advocates for criminals–one of whom is so obsessed with Swift that it makes me look like a casual fan of Tom Brady.
In recent weeks, one of Swift’s many stalkers–David Crowe–has been caught twice in the span of three days lurking outside her New York City apartment. One of Swift’s “terrified” neighbors said that “I just saw him digging through this dumpster, taking out some blankets and then he just went and sat down on the loading dock a few doors down [from Swift’s apartment].”
Assistant District Attorney Harriet Jiranek said Crowe visited Swift’s residency 30 times in a few months. But, importantly, after he was finally “hit with charges of stalking in the fourth-degree, a misdemeanor, and two counts of harassment. The charges weren’t eligible for bail, so prosecutors said they instead requested the highest possible tier and level of supervised release at his arraignment Wednesday.”
If it takes Swift being stalked by a freak who goes in and out of jail like Grandpa Simpson at a burlesque house, maybe there’s hope. Once Swifties understand the destruction left in the wake of Soros prosecutors around the country, there could be, in Swift’s words, a revolution.
I asked some smarter people than myself for further conservative cases for Swift, and here are some wise ones.
From @AmoryBlaineDC: “After picking through effeminate celebrity soyboys, Taylor Swift realized she needed a Chad - hopefully setting an example for young women and girls around the country and helping with low birth rates.”
This makes sense. Her new boyfriend, Travis Kelce is, to be clear, fine at football. I’ve previously described him as a poor man’s Hunter Henry–but Henry, the far superior tight end, is already married, leaving Kelce as the next man up.
From @THEPhilPacker: “She ditched an effete Englishman for a red blooded American football player.”
True. I had to look up Taylor Swift’s exes to figure out what Phil is talking about. It looks like he’s referring to whoever Matty Healy is, or maybe Ed Sheeran. Either way, American football is superior to their mid singing.
My cousin: “Taylor Swift is such a capitalist. I think that her taking back her own music is a really big deal. It’s really capitalistic for her to be re-recording the music she made and be able to make the money that she deserves. Also, she writes all her own music which might not be specifically conservative but she really works to make original music on her own terms.”
My cousin is a Swiftie. I have to assume she knows what she’s talking about here.
After hearing my thesis, Rob Lockwood, a varsity Suburban Dad and demoralized Patriots fan, concluded: “Hm. Maybe converting to conservatism does feel like a natural new era for Taylor. After all, she's rooting for the Red Kingdom to own the Libs of San Fran (and Nick Bosa) in the Super Bowl.”
I suggested to him that if Kelce doesn’t work out, and Swift wants an actual NFL superstar boyfriend, Tom Brady is still single. “And so is Bill Belichick,” Lockwood deadpanned.
As if he needed a reminder.